Nobody Saw You Fall
by smaragdbird
Summary: During their fight with the Goblins Kili got hurt more than he let on. When the Company finally makes camp near a river to rest and wash up he leaves to find some privacy because he doesn't want the others to worry about him. Thorin, sensing that something is not right, follows him. (Thorin/Kili incest)


"Hey, Kili, come on", Fili gave his brother a friendly shove in the ribs. Kili was the only one who wasn't undressing enthusiastically to get rid of the stench.

"No, thanks, I'll scout ahead. See if the area's clear."

Fili raised his eyebrows but then shrugged and went back to shedding his clothes. Thorin frowned. Kili had been quiet since they had left the mountains. He would have expected to hear him talking excitedly about the eagles and their spectacular escape from the goblins but Kili hadn't uttered a single word the whole way down from the rock to the river bank.

Watching Kili slink into the woods, Thorin decided to follow him. Kili being quiet was never a good sign. He had to be careful following him since Kili was used to roam the woods and lighter on his feet than most dwarves.

To Thorin's surprise Kili didn't go far but stopped a bit up the river out of sight and earshot of their camp. Thorin crouched between a couple bushes when Kili looked around to make sure he was alone. Then he began to undress. It puzzled Thorin for a moment until he noticed how slow and deliberate Kili's movements were. None of them had escaped their adventure in the mountains unscathed but when Kili gingerly pulled his tunic over his head Thorin gasped. Below his shoulders his whole body was black and blue with bits of dark red where the skin had been broken. Kili had to hurt more than anyone else and yet he had been running and fighting without a single complaint.

Kili covered himself up with one hand while drawing his sword with the other when Thorin decided to approach him. "Who's there?"

"It's me."

Kili lowered his sword but tried to cover himself even more. "You startled me", Kili said with relief.

"Why didn't you tell me you're hurt?"

"It's nothing", Kili told his shoes.

"This", Thorin said, ripping the tunic from Kili's grip, "is not nothing."

"It is", Kili insisted, still evading his eyes. "I can handle a little pain."

"I don't doubt that", Thorin replied more softly than before. "There's no shame in being hurt."

"I didn't want to worry you", Kili said with flushed cheeks.

Thorin tugged a strand of Kili's hair behind his ear and tilted his head up to look him in the eyes. "Let me help you."

"You don't have to do that", Kili mumbled, avoiding his glance again. Thorin sighed but made Kili sit down in the shallow water. He used his hands to scoop up water and rinse Kili's hair with it. Warm water would have been better but for now the river would have to suffice. He felt Kili lean against him, his eyes closed and the exhaustion showing clearly on his face. The repetitive motion felt relaxing to Thorin too and being alone here with Kili gave him a sense of safety and belonging that he had missed lately.

"I was scared", Kili whispered without opening his eyes. "When I saw you lying there I thought you were dead."

"I am fine", Thorin replied. "You don't have to worry."

Kili opened his eyes and tilted his head up to look at Thorin. They were so close that Thorin could feel Kili's breath on his face. With shaky hands he pushed a wet strand out of Kili's face and he didn't realise how much he had lowered himself until he felt Kili's lashes brush against his cheek. It was something he had denied himself time and again with one excuse more shallow than the next. But here in the wild, miles and miles from their new and their old home, he couldn't remember a single one of them.

It was a slow kiss, tentative. The kiss of two people who weren't sure that they were allowed to do what their hearts told them was right.

"I wasn't sure...thank you." Kili said as they parted.

Thorin pressed another kiss to his temple. "Come", he said softly, tugging a strand of Kili's wet hair behind his ear, his fingertips trailing down his neck. "It's getting cold and the others probably worry." He led Kili back to the shore and helped him to get dressed.

"I – " Kili wanted to tell Thorin that he didn't need this, no matter how good it felt but Thorin kissed him again.

"You fought bravely and got hurt from it. Let me do this for you."

"Don't you want to – "Kili gave him a hesitant look, fidgeting with the hem of his tunic.

"Not here. There'll be time for that later when we have found shelter and food", Thorin replied and held Kili's coat open for him so he could slip inside. After he had done so, Thorin quickly got dressed as well, feeling Kili's eyes linger on his body. It wasn't a new sensation but it was the first time Kili had done it so openly and unashamed. When he looked back at Kili, Kili smiled at him, not the boyish smile Thorin was used to but a hungry smile as if he wanted nothing more than to devour him. It made the blood rush harder through Thorin's veins.

Not here, he reminded himself. Not where it wasn't safe, where he couldn't take his time with Kili. After waiting for so long he didn't want this to be over quickly.

Just before they reached the others, Thorin turned to Kili and cupped his face in his hands to kiss him once more. "You don't need to hide from me."

Kili's fingers strayed over the scrape on his temple. "Only if you don't hide either."

It wasn't a promise either of them was going to keep but for now the intention to do so would have to be enough.


End file.
